Balance?

I'm stuck at home sick this week with ginger ale, tea, tamiflu, and TV.  Sometimes it takes the flu to make me stop and take a break and consider the idea of balance.  I am involved in conversations everywhere I go about balance. This year, more than ever before, I am constantly forced to choose how to invest my energy and time.  My busiest days of the week include a full day teaching middle schoolers, sometimes 1-2 hours spent in meetings, 3 hours in grad class, leaving 5 total hours to spend with my husband, eat dinner, let the dog out,... the list goes on.  Every teacher I know asks, "How do I balance my obligations at school and my personal life?"

I tried to achieve such balance using several tactics.  First, I tried to schedule my week down to the minute of every obligation, want, and desire for my day.  I believe the schedule itself became more stressful than the potential outcome.  Next, I tried having someone else hold me accountable, encouraging me to leave at a certain time, asking if I spent quality time with my husband, etc.  That works for awhile, but then when I fall short, I felt like a failure.  Like I not only let down myself, but also this other person.  Both of these attempts fed into my perfectionism.  The thought that everything must be just so for my life to work out.  Most recently, I believe I found the way that works best for me.  I make a goal time to go to work, to leave work, to eat dinner, and then I have a goal of nothing time.  Time to not plan the second, to just enjoy life on my own or with Sam.  With a goal instead of a strict schedule, if it doesn't happen, the world doesn't end.  This is my way to bump up against my perfectionism.  To let go of the strenuous schedule and enjoy day by day.  And if my schedule doesn't work out, I just try better the next day.  

Lately, my goals look something like this:

-spend 10 hours max a day at my work place

-Get at least 7 hours of sleep, even if the work is not done

-approach of grad school work one week at a time and finish it well

-allow about 2-3 hours of school work at home (life of a teacher)

-make dinner 3 nights a week

-spend at least 1 hour of uninterrupted, quality time with my husband every day

-have one date night a week, solely devoted to Sam

-have at least 1 afternoon or night spent with friends (usually this overlaps with teachery/grad school, hello there social capital!)

-spend an hour a day reflecting, in prayer, and thanking my God for this precious life

-Go to the gym or sweat 3 times a week

Again, these are goals! I don't think I have ever reached all of my goals within one week.  That's what makes it work.  Do I have this balance thing perfected? Of course not.  What I have learned is that I allow myself grace when it comes to my schedule and doing this phase of life just right.  I do the best I can, come home to my husband, and enjoy life. It's as if finding balance is a constant choice, constant forgiveness, and continuous change.  

So I ask you, how do you find your balance?

*photo credits: various blogs, Pinterest